Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
