Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
