Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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