4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
