bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
