I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
