Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
