Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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