dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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