no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
