brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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