While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
