we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
