How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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