i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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