Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
