just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
