this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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