While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
