just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
