we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize