i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
