Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
