We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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