They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
