Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
