i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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