I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize