Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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