Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
literally had 100 drinks last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
