how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i believe in u and ur pee
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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