I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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