You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
