6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
