At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
