He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize