i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The uberlube is also flammable
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
