i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
