So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
