dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
