Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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