I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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