so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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