Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
