She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
