I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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