Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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