Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
