please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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