the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
