I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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