Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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