So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
