I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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