You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
