I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
