So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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