all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize