Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
