their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she looked like the before picture.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
