So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
