so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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