next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
