My friends, they love my intelligence
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
