once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
