I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
