I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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