If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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