I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Lo siento on account of my penis...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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