Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
