Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
