I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
